Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages...I'm please to announce that I have taken the first annual Paper Airplane Distance contest at my work. It was a hard fought battle, but I fought through the other weaklings in the field. While I don't have an official distance on the flight, I crushed the competition.

Now sure, some of you are probably sitting there saying to yourself "Dude you won a pathetic paper plane contest"...and my answer to you is "YES I DID!".You see, I never won much as a kid growing up, so this is a big step for me going forward. I hope to defend my title successfully in a month. More to come.